Flaming Randomness

Don't make me laugh, you little cheapass coon.

Mon, 04 Jul 2011 05:40:16 -0400

“Quit being a little bitch and play”? Nigger, you don’t understand how cheap you were being or what? Using the same move over and over on 1vs1 game? What do you call that other than cheap bitch? Or you do understand that you’re being cheap but never mention it because you need to win whatsoever? Little bitch, you’re the one whose still a kid. It was obvious that I get pissed. Cheapass bastards who don’t realize that themselves are being cheap are probably one of the three things I hate the most in the world. Next time we play and if you were still being a bitch, I’m gonna start despising you. That is so pitiful that I wouldn’t even wanna tell you that it’s morally wrong. Coon be trippin’

My journey is still ongoing.

Sat, 02 Jul 2011 19:27:06 -0400

Still looking for true homies, still looking for true partner. Still seeking for a girlfriend, still cannot trust the world. Still cannot trust others, still seeking for the truth. I’m just me. May be I was born as a soloist. Hm. No words for this.

So I started thinking.

Fri, 01 Jul 2011 04:36:31 -0400

Why am I trying so hard to get her? Is it true that I just want a girlfriend? Or is it because she is so special? Is it true that it can be anyone who will truly love me from the deepest area of the heart? Or does it have to be her? I guess I’m desperate. In need of girlfriend? No, more like in need of filling up the empty holes in my heart. The scar that can only be cured from getting a girlfriend. Holes that grew in my heart that’s feeding on misery and loneliness. This could be a test. Testing her if she can really be the one. I guess I’m coldhearted after all. I try really hard to be nice. And I get reputations for being nice. But my other side seems to remain the same. May be I’m scared. I’m afraid the other side will take over me and become a heartless beast. I remember i was in love with my ex only from the outside. And when she betrayed me, I left her without looking back even once. I remember I lost interest in her so easily and calmingly as if I didn’t even know her. It’s true that I didn’t truly love her. May be I’m looking for true love. It’s weird. I’m just going wherever my heart leads me to. Let’s see how this goes. Let the adventure begin.

Another bad deal or what?

Thu, 30 Jun 2011 22:56:08 -0400

Hmm if my assumption/prediction is correct, this is gonna be very bad. I’m ticking off because of what I have seen. IF it is true, this time I’m gonna get really really really mad. Fucking shit. How many times do you want to break my heart? How long is it gonna take you to calm the fuck down? How many guys do you need in your fucking life? Are you that lonely? Are you that miserably desperate in need of guys? Your ex, me, that frog dude at supermarket. You can’t trust me or what? Even though i care about you this fucking much? Fuck…I may leave you. Just matter of chance. And this time, you know it’s your fault because you already know that I like you yet you still do this shit to me.

Being a dick.

Mon, 27 Jun 2011 04:46:14 -0400

At least I’m doing to solve some misunderstandings. But she deserves my anger. What she did was pretty fucked up. I will be a bit aggressive on you because you already hurt me.

Fucking girl played with my emotions

Fri, 24 Jun 2011 04:33:57 -0400

Waste of time, waste of gas, waste of money. Shouldn’t have gone for you at the first place. Girl, this Saturday when I see you, I’ll ask you one last time. If you are going to treat me like this, I’ll leave you. I could have been your best friend or boyfriend but it’s your fault for losing that opportunity because you made me feel like shit. I’ll let you choose whether you become my girlfriend, friend, or complete stranger. Your choice. I don’t have time for people like you. If you can’t choose, I’ll just leave you. Your choice.

I don't give a fuck

Thu, 23 Jun 2011 19:25:50 -0400

The reason why I don’t follow whatever I should follow is not because I can’t accomplish whatever I committed to do. It’s because I don’t care. No smoking for 3 days after surgery. I don’t give a fuck, it’s not like my jaw is gonna turn back to normal or they can fix it. I haven’t smoked yet though, I’m still on the edge of if I should smoke or not

I am sad

Thu, 23 Jun 2011 05:31:57 -0400

Lost a girlfriend. Gained a girl bestfriend.

I don't trust doctors

Wed, 22 Jun 2011 14:26:11 -0400

I believe every doctors are scums. Including dentists, nurses, any medical related people. My mom is a dentist assistant but I don’t care, I don’t like people working in medical field. Using my body as research puppet. Can’t even fix my disorder. Keep becoming worse instead of better. Working on this for more than 10 years and there are no improvements. G fucking G, now I’m taking a surgery today and I know this is just a first step and doesn’t do shit to my disorder. I hate doctors with passion.

Getting there, getting there.

Mon, 20 Jun 2011 03:56:51 -0400

She’s finally opening up on me! She doesn’t care much about me touching her (not in sexual way), and she’s inviting me to her stuff…feels pretty good yo

Today was a good day.

Sun, 19 Jun 2011 07:01:14 -0400

Kind of made my week up. Up until Friday I had very unsatisfying week, but just being with her made my week. I guess I’m getting obsessed to her because 2 days of no communication made it feel like a week. But I was really happy that I got to see her today :) I really hope this will go well

Listening the song Like a Wind by S.E.N.S

Fri, 17 Jun 2011 15:17:19 -0400

Life is just filled with bullshit. Very unfair. I start to see despair, too. I don’t understand the reason of my life anymore. Jesus Christ why is my life full of shit? Fuck this. I’m gonna go outlaw.

Never taking painting class. Especially oil.

Fri, 17 Jun 2011 15:12:24 -0400

Fucking buuuuuullllllshittt. Class is overwhelming me by seeing all these great artists and making me feel like shit. I’m most likely the youngest one here and I thought I did good but in reality mine is just garbage compared to others. Professor is already used to seeing professional paintings so he completely dissed at my work of art. I didn’t get any critique from other people in the class which I slightly feel good because I just wanted to get over it, but honestly no comments about my work of art just shows they are fucking conceited bastards whose eyes are flooded with sophisticated paintings and has no feeling toward crappy paintings like mine. I mean, although my painting looks shitty, at least say something so I will feel better. Fucking old people with no solitude toward beginners. So pissed even though I expected this kind of result. I mean, I’m the youngest one and I tried hard enough to stick to class and shit. Obviously I can’t stay along you guys, professional douchebags. I mean, at least appreciate my courage to stick along. Appreciate even tiny stuff. I realized you guys are just garbages just like all the people in the world, moneythirsty greedy scums of the world. I’m not even rich enough to provide myself useful materials. And I came all the way here. You all need to realize that. So disappointing. So depressing. So miserable. This just increased my rage toward the world. Fuck you guys. I fucking hate you guys. So fucking mad. Thought Pcc people were nice but I guess not. Too bad. I’m never taking painting class ever again.

I don't know why but I feel this confidence flowing throughout my body

Fri, 17 Jun 2011 09:43:59 -0400

This time I feel like I got this :) I feel like I can capture her heart. Yeauh!!!

Outlaw to the core

Thu, 16 Jun 2011 21:37:58 -0400

So useless, so hopeless, too painful that I just stopped trying. I’m probably just too weak. But I just don’t find life worth wasting time on living. World is too unfair for me to live. Most likely I’m gonna start slanging and join some outlaw organizations. World needs revolution. People are relying on intelligence too much and losing what we use to have. Purity and natural instincts. Everyone’s being swallowed by working world. We need to fight against the current government. They are brainwashing us so we will settle in their hands. We need changes. Conspiracy.

Ghetto life

Thu, 16 Jun 2011 04:50:09 -0400

I’m the only one who held the Cali swag in my family. Dad is way too serious and mom is brainwashed by the old system. My older brother is druggie nerd and little brother is straight-edge popular guy. Dad already gave up on me and stopped paying for my shit. That, I don’t really give a fuck because I eventually want everyone to stop worrying about my life. Mom is annoying as fuck especially nowadays. Older brother said I’m a bit out of control. Out of control? What do you mean out of control? I’m not gonna accept anyone to control my life. It’s my life, homie. I take control of my life and I ain’t going out of control at all. I ain’t even going overboard. I’m just around first step until my ideal self. Little brother probably doesn’t know anything but even if he knew I wouldn’t care because he can’t control me at any circumstances. I’m still planning to get dragon tattoo, no one can stop me. I will still do whatever the fuck I want.

Sigh

Thu, 16 Jun 2011 03:48:53 -0400

School, girl or health…My future is depending on school, girl probably already asleep and tmj has no end. I guess I’ll do my homework then :/

Bleh plan failed real bad.

Wed, 15 Jun 2011 20:31:55 -0400

How should I make it up…

Going crazy over her.

Wed, 15 Jun 2011 06:49:45 -0400

So I’ve had this dream and me and her were already officially together and we just had fun just having our time together and it was incredibly amazing. I can’t wait until we become official!!! Also can’t wait to take her to chantry tomorrow :)

Exchange of luck

Mon, 13 Jun 2011 09:01:56 -0400

I believe in exchange of luck. I don’t know about others but I just call this that. I believe in “whenever good things happen, bad things happen right after. In vise versa, whenever bad things happen, good things happen right after. Also the both costs will be equal. Which means if something real good happens, something real bad happens. But if something small good things happen, the bad thing will be small as well. At last, this happens in a row as well. It’s like karma but it goes both good and bad ways.” I’ve told this belief of mine to couple people already and they all said it’s not true so I won’t even try to explain how this mechanism works, but I strongly believe in this. This time I got some good luck and got a job, but eventually I got fired. However, as an exchange, I gained a girlfriend. World seems unfair but it really is fair by balancing out the fairness. I really hope I can keep the job though…job is The necessary and mandatory things to have in my life.