Why am I trying so hard to get her? Is it true that I just want a girlfriend? Or is it because she is so special? Is it true that it can be anyone who will truly love me from the deepest area of the heart? Or does it have to be her? I guess I’m desperate. In need of girlfriend? No, more like in need of filling up the empty holes in my heart. The scar that can only be cured from getting a girlfriend. Holes that grew in my heart that’s feeding on misery and loneliness. This could be a test. Testing her if she can really be the one. I guess I’m coldhearted after all. I try really hard to be nice. And I get reputations for being nice. But my other side seems to remain the same. May be I’m scared. I’m afraid the other side will take over me and become a heartless beast. I remember i was in love with my ex only from the outside. And when she betrayed me, I left her without looking back even once. I remember I lost interest in her so easily and calmingly as if I didn’t even know her. It’s true that I didn’t truly love her. May be I’m looking for true love. It’s weird. I’m just going wherever my heart leads me to. Let’s see how this goes. Let the adventure begin.